


if i ever

by absolvedhistory



Series: need some more [1]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absolvedhistory/pseuds/absolvedhistory
Summary: “You’re growing your hair out,” Dele observes quietly.Eric must’ve not expected him to say anything, because his eyes widen a bit before he gives Dele a small smile, running a hand through his own hair. “I am.”He wants to run his own fingers through it, but Eric isn’t inside him anymore, they’re fully clothed, and there are supposed to be boundaries. Dele is no longer the foolish 20 year old with a glaring crush on his teammate.





	if i ever

**Author's Note:**

> title from if you ever by nao but i changed the personal pronouns :)

Dele has noticed that things are different. 

He knows that’s what happens when you change your relationship with someone, but Dele has never been good with change. He thought they would be the best of friends. Something similar to that. They are friends, still, but now they fuck more than they talk.

Dele hears the second voice only after he’s knocked three times, but Eric answers and there’s confusion written all over his face until it’s cleared up, his facial expression changing from confusion to panic.

“I completely forgot,” Eric says. He at least sounds apologetic.

Dele wants to make a joke about how Eric doesn’t forget about anything when it comes to them. He would always count on Eric to get it right for the both of them. But it’s not the same now, it’s different. Sometimes Dele forgets too.

“I can come back—“ Dele says. It’s the day before a game anyway, if it was any time earlier in Dele’s life, Eric would’ve convinced him that something better is coming to him when they get to London and there’s no games to play. But tonight, Dele doesn’t care. 

Neither does Eric, apparently. 

“No,” Eric says firmly. “I’ll just--”

“Jan,” Eric calls behind him. While he does, he lets Dele enter his hotel room where Dele sees Jan sitting at the table with some cards out. “I forgot Dele and I were supposed to watch this new foreign movie.”

Jan looks like he doesn’t buy it at all, looking between the two of them with suspicion but he still smiles at Dele. “Hi, Dele.”

Dele waves at Jan like a kid who just got scolded and has to greet other adults after. 

Dele wonders how much Jan knows. He knows Jan knows they fucked in Eric’s car in January 2017, it wasn’t Eric’s first time with a man but it was Dele’s, knows because Eric told Jan in a moment of panic and needed a friend to talk to. 

Dele thinks if he had told Harry, he’d laugh in his face and ask for the real dilemma that Dele is dealing with. He did tell Harry, though, when it was too late, he supposes.

“I’m guessing you guys want me to leave,” Jan concludes.

“Yep,” Eric says short.

“You gonna be alright?” Jan asks suddenly. He’s looking at the both of them.

“You going to stand by the door all day?” Eric says instead. 

Jan flips Eric the bird before he leaves Eric’s room. When Eric turns back around, Dele is still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Eric’s looking at him expectantly. He looks so good, in just a white t-shirt and sweats. Dele hates to admit how much he’s missed a dressed down Eric. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Dele says. 

Eric huffs out a breath that Dele feels the least bit smug about. “Okay, I can do that.”

“Okay,” Dele echoes. He starts to play with the zipper of his jeans. 

“Condoms?” Eric asks. “I didn’t bring any.”

Dele blinks. “Neither did I.”

And before Eric crosses his arms and huffs about, and tells Dele he’s going to go to bed, Dele quickly says, “It’s fine, though, if--if you are?”

Eric doesn’t cross his arms, though, and he doesn’t look annoyed, instead his expression is blank and he nods mutely. 

“Okay, let’s--” 

Eric snorts. “Just get on the bed, Del.”

Dele walks backward until the backs of his legs hit the bed and he lets himself fall backward onto the bed. Eric falls forward on top of him, and his face is so close to Dele’s. He could kiss him.

“You showered when you got back to your room, right?” Eric asks.

Dele frowns. “Yes, wh—“

“I’m going to eat you out,” Eric announces. 

“Fuck, Eric,” Dele whispers. That’s definitely not something they do anymore, not for a while, and Dele has missed it, a bit. He doesn’t waste time shoving himself out of his jeans and boxers.

\--

Eric is fucking him, but it’s different, it’s like he could sense that something was off with Dele, that he needed something softer than what they’ve been acquainted to lately. Dele supposes that aspect of their relationship never left for Eric. It didn’t either for Dele, but he’s supposed to be the practical one. 

Eric’s still got a rough grip in Dele’s hair, but this time his chest is pressed against Dele’s back and his lips are pressed to Dele’s ear. Not kissing, though, just pressed against his ear, breathing harshly. He’s so close, Dele wants to turn his head and just  _ kiss  _ him.

He does.

Eric doesn’t respond for a second and Dele almost panics, almost turns his head back to shove into the pillow, but Eric finally kisses back, like maybe he wasn’t sure if Dele was actually trying to kiss him. 

It’s not a proper kiss, it’s sloppy and mostly breathing into each other’s mouths and Eric laughs before pulling away. “It’s so hard to kiss you like this,” Eric says.

Dele suggests that he turns around, but he thinks it’ll be too much for him, he thinks if he looks at Eric in the eyes while he fucks him, he’ll lose all the composure he has or something equally embarrassing. 

“I’m gonna come,” Eric says suddenly.

“Me too,” Dele says as he wraps a hand around himself.

“Del,” Eric says in Dele’s ear. “Do you want me to come inside?”

“Fuck,” Dele moans, coming all over his fist and Eric’s sheets.

Eric comes no later than ten seconds after and collapses on top of him. There’s a joke somewhere there about Eric’s heavy weight on top of Dele.

Dele doesn’t know what to think when a few moments later, when Eric is out of the bed and pulling him toward the bathroom and into the shower with him, so he doesn’t think about it, really. It’s a late night, and Eric is a good friend, he knows that Dele is probably going to fall asleep on the carpets as soon as he gets back to his own room. He’s just thoughtful that way.

\--

“You’re growing your hair out,” Dele observes quietly when he’s beside Eric in bed. There’s plenty of space between them, but it still feels quite intimate and it makes Dele’s skin buzz.

Eric must’ve not expected him to say anything in their little moment of silence, because his eyes widen a bit before he gives Dele a small smile, running a hand through his own hair. “I am.”

He wants to run his own fingers through it, but Eric isn’t inside him anymore, they’re fully clothed, and there are supposed to be boundaries. He’s being realistic, practical, and this is the way you do it. Dele is no longer the foolish 20-year-old with a glaring crush on his teammate. He’s a grown man who is also a professional footballer. He said so to Eric, even.

“Got someone to impress, Diet?” Dele jokes. 

  
  
“Maybe,” Eric says turning toward Dele. “Maybe I’ve met some girl in London.”

Dele pauses. “You have?”

“I’m kidding,” Eric says, but he doesn’t sound like he finds this funny at all. Neither does Dele, and he doesn’t even know why he made that silly joke. “You know I can’t, Del.” 

Dele looks away from Eric, and up at the ceiling. Dele doesn’t know, he's never asked what Eric's been up to outside of the team and each other. He doesn’t want to know, he thinks, if Eric is moving on. Maybe one day Dele will tell Eric that he made a mistake, that they should have fought harder for each other, and maybe Dele will apologize. But tonight, he thinks, it’s good enough that Eric is letting him lay here until he gets too tired and has to retreat to his own room. Maybe he won't even have to retreat to his own room.  



End file.
